Weird to think about...

At the beginning of January this year I miscarried at about 8 weeks.  It's about this time that, had I not miscarried, I would of been having a baby.  It's SO WERID to think about that.  Sometimes I cry alot when I think about it...other times I feel OK with the fact that I don't have kids with Daron yet.  (Those days are usually after primary when the kids have been crazy and I'm glad I don't have to take any of them home with me!)  Sometimes it's hard to see all of my friends having babies and families and sending kids off to school and having chore charts and carpools and cute lunch boxes.  Most of the time, I try to focus on what I don't have to deal with...things such as:

Instead of all the things I'm missing out on, this these:

Lots of the time, I'm completely fine with the idea of not having any kids of my own.  I love Darons kids and still get to experience some things, like football games and seminary and seeing Bryan grow up to be a really good kid.  Most of the time, that's enough.  But some of the time I just feel really sad that I may not ever get to be 'mom' to someone, and that my parents might not get to have any grandkids from me, and that I never get to do any of the cute baby ideas from Pinterest. 
Daron and I have talked a lot about it, and I think we both are OK with our 'baby' plan.  But...sometimes...and it's usually once a month when that lovely Aunt Flow comes to visit when lots of women around the world breath a sigh of relief that another month has gone by and they didn't get knocked up; it's usually that one time of the month that I try to keep it all in and not be sad about it or make a big deal about, but I just quietly say to myself ... "Dang...not this month I guess"...and I may cry a little...and I may be sad for a day...but I just know that really everything is how it's supposed to be and it will all be OK in the end.  And if it's not OK, it's not the end.


Happy Birthday to me...

I can't believe it took me almost a week to post about my amazing birthday!  I was spoiled rotten!  My birthday was on Monday, we we celebrated the Saturday before.  Daron to me, Bryan and Judy to the Melting Pot for dinner...my favorite!!

Before our dinner started, I got to open up my gifts!
Judy got me a super cool Martha Stewart craft kit that will help me make cool cards... like this one:

I did not make this....but this is one of the stamps the kit came with.
My mom and dad got me a Kindle Fire!!!  I had been wanting one of these for a long time!  Judy also got me a stylus/pen that goes with the Kindle.  That has been very handy!

 Bryan got me this fabulous kindle cover! Does this kid know what I like or what??

And then, Daron went WAY over the top and bought me a plane ticket back to Nauvoo for the Pumpkin Walk!!! I cried like an idiot when I opened the card that had the ticket in it.  Needless to say I am very very very excited for this!  I wish that him and Bryan could come too...but we are going back for 2 weeks at Christmas time...so they can't take off school and work both times.  

A couple days later I got my gift in the mail from Jessie!  It was this cool purple Tupperware that I have been wanting to get for a while!  My mom has one just like it (only blue) and I really wanted one.  Now I have it!
So...I had a FABULOUS birthday.  Thanks to everyone for making it an amazing time!!