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| The title of this picture is "My Greatest Friend" I LOVE it and I used to have a copy of it hanging in my apartment. |
Daron and I were hanging out on Friday night and he says "We need to get some friends. Why haven't we made any friends in our ward yet? We really need another couple to hang out with sometimes!" And it really got me to thinking....we don't have any friends!
I have friends in the area that I hang out with sometimes...like...quarterly. But they aren't our friends. And I feel really bad for him because he did have friends before, but since his divorce, you sort of loose those people that were both your friends because it becomes awkward.
So you'd think that we'd make friends at our church. But we just haven't! I am sure it's mostly my fault...cause Daron is very out going and loves to chat it up with people. I am not very forward when it comes to new people, so it usually takes me a while to find a good friend in a new situation. I think one of the major roadblocks to making friends is that there is such a difference between us and a lot of the other couples. Firstly, our ward is full of mostly older couples, and by older I mean like 60's and 70's. If it's not elderly couples, it's couples with mostly teenage kids. Which is great for Daron but a little older than I really feel comfortable bonding with. But, the couples in our ward that are my age either have young babies or no kids at all. So, we don't have a lot in common with them either. But I can't really say that...because it's not like we can't be friends with anyone who isn't exactly like us. But I think it makes it a little more difficult. Or maybe I'm just being silly and anti-social.
There are a couple couples that we both agree we'd like to get to know more. One of them is actually in a really similar situation as us. The husband was married before and has kids, and she hasn't been married until him. They got married a week before we did, and they don't have kids together yet. The only difference is they don't have his kids with them regularly like we do. So we thought they'd be fun to hang out with. (Plus I talked to her our first day in the ward and I really liked her a lot. She went to Ricks...and those are usually good folk!) There is another couple too which just moved in a month or so ago, and they have a bunch of boys. So we invited them over sometime this month for a BBQ. (Hopefully Bryan can make friends with their kids and maybe not be such a baby about going to church.)
But the thing that makes me nervous about all of this is that I'm just no good at being like "Here I am...let's be friends!" I mean...I think I'm a friendly and nice person...but it makes me nervous to invite someone over and be on the spot. I'm not good on the spot. Plus I've never really put an effort into making friends. But this idea of finding a couples friend is really hard. I guess we'll see how this goes.
In a perfect world, I would create a community where all my single friends had boyfriends/husbands, all my long distance friends lived down the street, and my family was close by too. And in that community there would be seasons...
6 comments:
I'm exactly like you, I'm not good at taking the initiative when it comes to making new friends, plus our ward sounds a lot like your ward. Luckily Kollin is better at it than I am. A few weeks ago we had our pictures taken by a really cool photographer, and afterward we both said "we should become friends with her and her husband!" So we randomly just asked them to hang out after only spending 2 hours with her and having never met her husband. We felt so awkward and nervous at first haha but now we hang out all the time and I'm so glad we branched out!
I know what you mean! Making couple friends is way more difficult than being single and just having friends! It just seems natural when you're single. I wish you guys lived in Indiana because then we could be couple friends! (and we have seasons! I can only imagine how hard not having fall is on you!!) Love you!
I can understand how you feel. Believe it or not, we don't have any friends either. We used to, when you guys were growing up. But they all moved away. We did have some when dad was stake president, but not anymore...at least not anyone that we do things with. In our case, however, it is probably because we have become too anti-social and are too tired to do anything when we get home from work. Hang in there, you will make friends in your ward eventually.
AMEN. I feel the same way you do about making friends. Eric and I really only have one "couple friend" and that's cause we both knew them before we got married (basically Eric and I met through this couple friend of ours). I would love a community with all my close friends and family!!! :)
After all my moving and being an "odd couple" ha ha. We have had to be creative with making friends also. We usually don't fit in with out age group, people our age have little tiny kids or people with our kids age are quite a bit older....anyway....I have found there is usually someone out there that feels the same way you do. I know it's hard! Good luck!!
ps I hope that didn't sound to preachy or not understanding....
Hang in there!! :) It is so much harder making friends as an adult, seriously. Because when you're growing up you are always in school and the kids you are with 7 hours a day are usually going through similar things as you and it is easy to talk to them and get to know them... you're with them all the time. But once you get out into the "real world" it is so much harder to make friends. Adults are perceived as having a life and always being busy and already having friends. When in reality, that is sometimes not the case. It's a weird taboo.... I am just saying I understand how difficult it is to make friends as an adult; it's just a whole different ball game. However, what's amazing is that most people are open to having new friends - it is just awkward to strike up that first conversation and get through the first few "dates" ;) I am sure you'll get some couples friends soon - you are very likeable and you're hilarious :)
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